...to show who i really am fond of?

What will u feel like, being entrapped in a dark room? With no help, no company and no way to get out. Waiting...silently waiting for an answer, praying for a saviour. Brain racing, looking for a way out. You do not know what will happen to u. Silently, u wish that this is all a joke...a prank being pulled by your friends, and this will all end in laughter and fun, but no in a dark corner of your mind, u know that every bit of it is reality.

Have you ever felt like that? a sense of hopelessness and anguish, wrought by events out of your control, violently sending you fumbling in a deep abyss of mental pain and suffering. Somehow, u will feel like u had a part in all this. You could have controlled it, played your deck right and win the game. But no, u did nothing instead and in the end, u end up in this cursed room, made specially to bring pain unto you. The course of human life, entangled with emotions and musings will sometimes lead u to a situation similar to this, it happens naturally to everyone. It is because each and every one of us have feelings, brought upon by emotions which are often not in our control. And if this is what it feels like to have emotions, i would rather have no part in it. Isn't it great to have no emotions? living your life without ever needing to worry about getting hurt or tormented. No debates with yourself, no analysing situations, no need to please anyone, no need to think of consequences, no need to care about your reputation, no need to love. How i wish life were like a rose without thorns. But the opposite is always true, no matter how u run away, it will come back, chasing u like a pack of hounds hungry for your blood, bringing you down and consuming you like a blazing fire. Thou shall not escape. This is life, and no more shall i find humour in ye. The only solace i shall find in this ever raging thunderstorm is in the form of escapism, laughter to hide sorrow, company to bring laughter, like a drug for me to forget. But alas, the hounds await.

Why can't i not use a mask to hide my feelings? Why can't i just show my true self, to show who i really am fond of? Why do i run away, acting like a coward, when i know i have every bit of what it takes to win? Shall i let go? Is there no hope left? Oh how i wish i can read minds...

The truth hurts, and it is as they say, truly blissful to be ignorant. In the end, i am still trapped in this cold dark room, left alone to suffer the consequences of my folly. Oh Lord save me, bring me out of my suffering...

Save me.......